Tag Archives: black dress

Well Played, Rihanna/Not So Much, Brooklyn Decker

2 Apr


BROOKLYN: So wait. Wearing a great dress in a great color, and not looking like you rolled out of a Dumpster… is bad?
RIHANNA: Are you joking? It is HIDEOUS. And BORING. I don’t even recognize myself. I want to leave.
BROOKLYN: No, no, don’t do that — um, I’m sure we can find something you like, right?


RIHANNA: Okay. Have at it. IF YOU CAN BEAR TO LOOK.
BROOKLYN: Well, okay. Uh. Your hair… huh, even your hair kind of works here.
RIHANNA: NOOOOOO!
BROOKLYN: Um, I mean, still looks like a cheap wig from GCB.
RIHANNA: Good, good…


BROOKLYN: Ooooh, and I can sort of see some boob contours, and the darts kind of might look like nipples from some angles, so… well, you’re practically nude, really, right?
RIHANNA: PERFECT.


TAYLOR: Can we pause for a second to discuss how we all feel about what I’m doing? With the floppy short growing-out hair and the beard? I mean, at first there, we all thought the Tim Riggins hair was kind of greasy, but then you all fell in love with me and wanted to run your hands through it, right? And then John Carter happened and now Battleship, which has been in edit for like three years now, and here I am kind of looking like I’m starring in a Bee Gees movie. Do you still love me? This hasn’t ruined what we’ve built, has it? I just…


RIHANNA: Can it, Riggins. Listen, Brooklyn, you’ve been real helpful.
BROOKLYN: Aw, thanks.
RIHANNA: And I just noticed you’re wearing one of those truly hideous Stella McCartney mesh-paisley fests that makes the world want to die inside. I can totally see your pelvic bone AND if I bend over just-so I might get flashed.
BROOKLYN: Well, that’s not very nice, since I just…
RIHANNA: So let’s TRADE. And I’ll look like a quilted fisherman’s net and you can look all sane and classy. Oh, this is the BEST IDEA EVER. I’ll see you in the ladies’ room in five.
BROOKLYN: … I should be offended but actually I’m totally on board. Meet you there.

Let’s shop online

Cutwork Back Pencil Dress

Cutwork Back Pencil Dress

Cutwork Back Pencil Dress

Cutwork Back Pencil Dress

Ke$ha style

30 Mar


I hope our future alien rulers don’t think this is how we want them to dress us.


This is more than I ever wanted to know about Ke$ha’s pelvis, and it’s not even a picture of her actual pelvis. Wait, WHAT IF IT IS.


She looks like such a petulant kid in this photo. Like, “Yeah, mom? You want me to wear this f*cking suit to this f*cking funeral? Well, I’ll show you how to grieve, lady.”


God, I just want to grab the edges of the train, pull them up and around her, staple them to her waist, and see if it makes things better. She might even look GOOD if we did that. Well… good, apart from the drugstore hair extensions that look dyed by PAAS. But you know. Baby steps.

Women clothing online

Sketch Drape Slim Fit Apron Trousers

Sketch Drape Slim Fit Apron Trousers

Sketch Drape Slim Fit Apron Trousers

Sketch Drape Slim Fit Apron Trousers

Alexa Chung Vs. Ashanti

26 Mar

Alexa Chung:


I mean, MAYBE Ashanti would wear this, but frankly I don’t see her as a lederhosen girl.


I mean, right? If you handed this to Ashanti she’d laugh and be like, “Hilarious joke, unless there’s a peephole in there somewhere.” It’s Bed, Bath, and Beyawful.


And would Ashanti EVER wear a black satin bag? No. Not unless she had climbed inside it because someone told her there were a bunch of headbands inside.


I will say this for Ashanti: She is insane, but not usually sloppy and depressing.


Actually, this might prove my theory wrong: Ashanti MIGHT wear this, because LOOK AT ALL THAT THIGH.


Ashanti would be like, “She wore a SHIRT under those?!?”


Ashanti would not even wear this when she’s 86 and blind and playing bingo at Shady Palms.


This suit is equally confusing, in TOTALLY the opposite way. It NEEDS more vagina. … No, not really. But GIRL. This doesn’t feel like an It Girl style icon — it feels like someone who was told she’s an It Girl style icon and now is trying too hard to make it true.

Ashanti

And Alexa is not so much a Vagina Stripe kind of girl.


Alexa Chung would see this and be all, “Wow, what a shitty-looking comic book.”


No, Ashanti likes her satin to be tight, and scrunched, and with a big hip cutout — unflattering in exactly the opposite way.


Like, this may be a very fancy modesty cloth from a gyno who charges $10,000 a pap, but at least I don’t want to cry or offer her an aspirin.


This, Ashanti wore on the same day as an outfit up top — for this performance, she added a skirt, I guess? Apparently the AUDIENCE of morning TV was not ready for her leggings, but the people on the sidewalk were welcome to them. Alexa Chung would STILL be like, “Yep, crappy comic book.”


And Alexa would be all, “Did Monty Python design that?”


It just bears repeating that she looks like she’s on the toilet, not at a fashion show.

I can control myself not to buy women clothing after seeing these gorgeous pics, NEVER!

Layered Ruffle Open Back Sheath Dress

Layered Ruffle Open Back Sheath Dress

Layered Ruffle Open Back Sheath Dress

Layered Ruffle Open Back Sheath Dress

Fug or Fab: Jennifer Lawrence

22 Mar


Pros: The color, the cut, the fit. I think she’s stopped just shy of building an IHOP out of her boobs, although I realize it’s a fine line. But also, she’s SO YOUNG. As long as she’s not going all crazy Boobs Legsly in some drippy Marchesa that looks like it washed up on the beach, I’m okay.

Cons: I am actually not quite sure where the boob pancake line
is,and it DOES sort of crease strangely under there… and also…


Those shoes appear not to fit. Surely it can’t be that hard to fix that. Actually, even weirder, it looks like the right shoe is way bigger on her than the left one. I’m confused. Maybe her feet are a full size different from each other. It happens. Mine are a half size off. Sometimes. Depending on who measures them. But I feel like… if you are Jennifer Lawrence and you call up Saks and say, “I need Loubs in different sizes for the Hunger Games premiere,” they will be like, “NO PROBLEM, FAMOUS GIRL,” and stick the other halves on eBay, pronto.


I don’t mean to keep harping on this, because I don’t even think Hutch is short; just shortER. But this photo seriously makes me feel like he’s wearing whatever the opposite of lifts are. Shrinks? Is he standing in a hole? Jessica said it reminds her of The Twits, when Mrs. Twit tries to make Mr. Twit think he’s shrinking, and that is TRUE. Or maybe, and this is my favorite explanation, he doesn’t give a damn and is slouching because he thinks this whole thing is hilarious. TEAM HUTCH. And TEAM HEMS. I don’t think Miley is so good for him (maybe he will be good for her?), but TEAM HEMS because he and his facial expression are so cute. Actually, I’m on Team All Three Of Them.


This is what Jennifer wore to Letterman earlier, and I think she looks great in it. Like, REALLY great. I do sort of wish they’d made Letterman interview her in a blue wig, a la Stanley Tucci’s character in Hunger Games. THAT would go viral.

Let’s shop online

Chain Trimmed Halter Top

Chain Trimmed Halter Top

Chain Trimmed Halter Top

Chain Trimmed Halter Top

ABC Fugily

21 Mar


Those pants are just unfair. And that shirt is just… un. However, if I could get my hair to do that — or, stay like it for longer than the first five minutes after styling — I would be a happy lady.


These are like the bastard child of Erica’s and Lucy’s trou. (Troux?) I can’t. That perfectly cute blouse deserves more.


Man, it is a pantsapalooza up in here. This is the best of all of them, but to me, on this girl, who had that kind of access to interesting clothes this year, it all kind of says, “I’m tired. Please leave me alone.”


This is totally cute, though. Also, man. Shay Mitchell is so pretty that it hurts sometimes.

Let’s shop online now!

Batwing Sweater with Strap

Batwing Sweater with Strap

Batwing Sweater with Strap

Batwing Sweater with Strap

Fuguary Jones & Elizabeth Banks

15 Mar

And then I saw that the road signs said “Hmmville” so I opened the car door and rolled out and down a nearby embankment and then walked to the nearest gas station. (For a Diet Coke, obviously — I couldn’t call Jessica to pick me up without proper fortification.) Because, is it just me, or does this look weird on her? I can’t exactly put into words the problem, but I look at it, I want to like it, and I can’t. It’s just not… it’s just not. It is awry. Strange things are afoot at the Circle J.


And then I saw that the road signs said “Hmmville” so I opened the car door and rolled out and down a nearby embankment and then walked to the nearest gas station. (For a Diet Coke, obviously — I couldn’t call Jessica to pick me up without proper fortification.) Because, is it just me, or does this look weird on her? I can’t exactly put into words the problem, but I look at it, I want to like it, and I can’t. It’s just not… it’s just not. It is awry. Strange things are afoot at the Circle J.

We do love womens clothing , do you ?

Leopard Double Breasted Cape Coat

Leopard Double Breasted Cape Coat

Leopard Double Breasted Cape Coat

Leopard Double Breasted Cape Coat

The Best Dressed At The 2012 Grammy Awards Read more: Grammys 2012 Best Dressed – 2012 Grammy Awards Best Celebrity Dresses – Cosmopolitan

6 Mar


Rihanna
Sexy without going over the top: Rihanna’s sultry Armani was so, so fabulous.


Katy Perry
The “Firework” singer proved she’s all about having fun these days, matching her blue hair to her powder blue Elie Saab


Taylor Swift
Taylor usually opts for something girlie; this sexier-than-usual look by Zuhair Murad was simply stunning.


Jessie J
Sparkly, sexy, and spunky—Jessie’s shiny Julien Macdonald perfectly matched her personality


Julianne Hough
Sparkly criss-crossing stripes showed off Julianne’s gorgeous dancer’s bod.

Let’s shop online!

Beads Pattern & Fur Bracelet Pack

Beads Pattern & Fur Bracelet Pack

Perforated Butterfly & Fur Bracelet Pack

Perforated Butterfly & Fur Bracelet Pack

Oscar Fug or Fab Carpet: Elizabeth Olsen

29 Feb


There’s just a lot of random STUFF on that skirt. How about a ring of ruffles? Sure! How about another one? Why not! How about some shiny bits, or a leather strip? Okay! Should we hurl another ruffle thing at it? Okay, but don’t make them all equidistant! And what if part of it were see-through? BOO-YA!

I wish I had found a photo of what this looks like without the coat. Unless that ISN’T a coat, but… it has to be, right? The whole affair looks like someone’s frowzy royal relative, who is about to get yelled at by Queen Elizabeth for leaving her lid in the car.

This is kind of cool, though — maybe a bit MORE formal than I usually associate with the Independent Spirit Awards, but the ornateness of the top gets a little more casual because it’s blousy. And she’s so happy!

Let’s shop online now

Military Stylish Pocket Coat

Military Stylish Pocket Coat


Military Stylish Pocket Coat

Military Stylish Pocket Coat

Oscars 2012 Red Carpet Prognostication: Best Supporting Actress

27 Feb


This was, as you probably recall, at the SAGs. The color is lovely. The cut is a SNORE. She seems to have trouble with fit, which is WEIRD to me, because her body is totally great and presumably she’s having fittings for these things. Life is so confusing.

This is at the Venice Film Festival. It’s also quite lovely. PULL IT TOGETHER FOR THE OSCARS, CHASTAIN. She actually seems to do okay when the dress code is truly formal. Looking through her files, she mostly seems to go crazy when it’s a fancy event that DOESN’T require ball gowns. Maybe we’ll be okay?

In writing this post, I learned that Bérénice Bejo had a baby six months ago. This dress is fabulous. And, apparently, so is her training regime.
Let’s shop at our Fashion Online shop now:

Mid Heel Lace Up Ankle Boot


Mid Heel Lace Up Ankle Boot

Get Girl-Next-Door Hot

24 Feb

Touch-me hair, gorgeous skin, pink lips…guys can’t get enough of the all-natural look. Score the style with these easy beauty moves.

The release of The Hunger Games movie is just around the corner, and we keep seeing pics of its star, Jennifer Lawrence, popping up lately. With her bright skin and flowy hair, she’s the ultimate in girl-next-door sexy, which, coincidentally, guys are obsessed with. Copy Jennifer’s all-American glow with these easy tricks.

Let’s shop at our online fashion shop now:

Subtle Pattern Suede Leggings


Subtle Pattern Suede Leggings

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.