BROOKLYN: So wait. Wearing a great dress in a great color, and not looking like you rolled out of a Dumpster… is bad?
RIHANNA: Are you joking? It is HIDEOUS. And BORING. I don’t even recognize myself. I want to leave.
BROOKLYN: No, no, don’t do that — um, I’m sure we can find something you like, right?
RIHANNA: Okay. Have at it. IF YOU CAN BEAR TO LOOK.
BROOKLYN: Well, okay. Uh. Your hair… huh, even your hair kind of works here.
BROOKLYN: Um, I mean, still looks like a cheap wig from GCB.
RIHANNA: Good, good…
BROOKLYN: Ooooh, and I can sort of see some boob contours, and the darts kind of might look like nipples from some angles, so… well, you’re practically nude, really, right?
TAYLOR: Can we pause for a second to discuss how we all feel about what I’m doing? With the floppy short growing-out hair and the beard? I mean, at first there, we all thought the Tim Riggins hair was kind of greasy, but then you all fell in love with me and wanted to run your hands through it, right? And then John Carter happened and now Battleship, which has been in edit for like three years now, and here I am kind of looking like I’m starring in a Bee Gees movie. Do you still love me? This hasn’t ruined what we’ve built, has it? I just…
RIHANNA: Can it, Riggins. Listen, Brooklyn, you’ve been real helpful.
BROOKLYN: Aw, thanks.
RIHANNA: And I just noticed you’re wearing one of those truly hideous Stella McCartney mesh-paisley fests that makes the world want to die inside. I can totally see your pelvic bone AND if I bend over just-so I might get flashed.
BROOKLYN: Well, that’s not very nice, since I just…
RIHANNA: So let’s TRADE. And I’ll look like a quilted fisherman’s net and you can look all sane and classy. Oh, this is the BEST IDEA EVER. I’ll see you in the ladies’ room in five.
BROOKLYN: … I should be offended but actually I’m totally on board. Meet you there.
Let’s shop online